BREATH, RELAX, ENJOY

Breath, Relax, Enjoy - This is what seemed to come naturally for me in the month of March and I was really aware of it. I was self aware of many positive things in the month of March. I'm grateful for having the opportunity to slow down enough to notice. I enjoyed my practitioner vacation so much, that I decided I need to make them a more regular habit. I’m not sure my practitioners will agree, but they were all so supportive of this break.  I think it was the first of many to come and I feel like my body is ready and that I will be able to handle future breaks. I really just tried my best to do what felt right at any given moment in March and to really be in the moment. I of course continued with reading and research that pertained to my health. I think that has just naturally become a part of me and it is something I enjoy more now than I did a year or so ago. It doesn’t stress me out like it used to. This is what I call progress. 

I feel the vacation gave me an opportunity to really evaluate the avenues which are best for me in the future and which ones I need less of, but also knowing that this too can ebb and flow. It created a space for me to be able to step back and evaluate. It really helped me to create balance in my life and in my marriage. As busy as my hubby and I both are, the extra time allowed me to really be able to become more intimate with my hubby and to get to know him better if that is possible after 13 years. The month was not without its challenges, but I felt proud of myself at how well I handled the few minor stressors that arose in the month of March. I really did spread my wings and I flew... and I didn’t crash. FEW!!  

I am feeling fairly good and am hopeful that when the time comes to retest (next month), the H Pylori will be gone and I’ll be able to move on to healing my gut. I feel like healing my gut will be a huge hurdle in being able to feel really well most of the time. I really may have the luxury of being able to take these breaks more often. There is the chance that my hopes could be dashed, but for now I will revel in the moment, in the hope. "Live, Love, Laugh" – one of my favorite quotes for the moment and one that came up often for me over the past month. I was able to relax enough to even put aside some of my daily responsibilities a couple times in March because I simply didn’t have to be anywhere (other than work) and I didn’t have to be on my game and constantly prepared. AHHHH, so nice to let down the guard of constantly feeling like I have to be ahead of the game so I don’t fall behind or cannot get in bed on time. I even stayed up late a few times (10:30 is late for me) and I was able to go do my workout after work because I was able to sleep in and I didn’t have an appointment I had to be at after work…. So nice to be able to do this… but it also made me realize that I do better on a schedule of sorts. 

I suppose there is part of me that is excited to see my practitioners to tell them how well I did without them in March and not because I think they will see that as me rubbing it in their face, nor would that be my intention, but because they have all put in a lot of hard work on  me and because I think they will feel the joy that I am feeling, because they were an important part to helping me get to this point. It will be very important for me to thank them for this moment. For helping me to get to this point, I am so appreciative. So, for all the daunting things that I can think of that may need to be fixed in order for me to have better quality of life, it is this moment that makes thinking about that much easier and I know I won’t be alone in experiencing the challenges and the successes. Thank you to all the great practitioners out there that really just want their patients to be happy and healthy. I’m so grateful for each and every one of you. Thank you for understanding that compliance becomes difficult when a handful of practitioners are telling you what to do. We as patients sometimes must pick and chose what seems right for the moment because we know our bodies best. Thank you for still seeing that despite the difficulty to be compliant at times, we continue to try because we don’t want to disappoint anyone including ourselves and because we do want to be healthy and because you are the experts we turn to for help when nothing else makes sense. Thank you for all your unending support.