So after a long stress filled year and taking time away from my
typical regimented routine care and appointments, I have found it somewhat
difficult to get back into the swing of things as far as maintaining doctors’
appointments, etc. I find myself longing for some taste of normal and felt I
was so close to that prior to kicking up all the new symptoms from the overload
of stress.
There are two voices, one is telling me how important it is to get
back on track and that I will be that much closer to being able to eliminate
much of my protocol and the other is telling me to go rogue, be free so to
speak. But I’m certain reason stands somewhere in between.
I find myself wondering if I could ever be fortunate enough to know
what normal feels like ever again and if I’m not, then what am I doing all this
for? I know enough at this point that I could do a fairly good job at
maintaining reasonably good health on my own, but it is when the major hiccups
come along that I must rely on my very capable and wonderful practitioners.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m so eternally grateful for all of them, but there is
part of me that wishes I never had to talk with them again at least about my
health and how I’m doing. This gives me serious insight into how I know my
clients must feel at times and I’m incredibly empathetic.
Would it kill me to stop my appointments, no, but over time I would
likely wind up in a state that would set me back further than I’d ever be able
to imagine. I don’t want that either.
It is inevitable that there will be times during chronic illness
where you’ll feel like you want to escape, but that you will realize that there
is no escape… And then you have to figure out how to move on.
In all the self-care that I’ve learned over the years, I’ve found
scream therapy to be extremely helpful. It sounds strange, but this is
something I typically do when I’m in my car. I cannot do this at home or my
poor dog would freak out. The car is a great place because if you are like me
it is the only place where I don’t feel inhibited to scream as loud as I can. F
you have children, they can scream with you. I always feel better after a good
scream and I always imagine all the things I am frustrated or angry about when
I scream and then I let them go. It is a huge relief and I cannot explain it
but if you’ve never tried it, give it a shot.
